I beat Minecraft. TNT cannons are surprisingly effective at killing dragons, especially when you forgot to bring arrows. I jumped into the return portal thing, and had the Universe talk to me. And the Universe gave the most badass inspirational speech ever. I can't believe I ever criticized it... I'm sorry, Notch, Jeb, The End was amazing. Even though I cheated for the Eyes of Ender and the portal itself- I had no inclination to go and find a portal, or to learn how to make the Eyes. I was jealous of *****, who beat it before me.
Then I had to do science on my server, so I added another portal and found that there is only one spawn point in The End, and only one dragon (Which *****had killed). Science!
And, yes, I did censor my friend's name.
I feel so accomplished! Not only did I beat Minecraft and stuff, but I got diamonds in (personal) record time! I could have cheated, I suppose, but that would have made me feel un-legitimate.